Thankful

Some of you know that I was ill/sick from November to early March with a mix of deep chest congestion, bronchitis, asthma, and swelling of my sternum (I don't remember the long name the doc gave me for this disorder.)  For months and months I could not sing and could barley get through a couple of sentences without coughing or loosing my breath.  It was hard to understand why God would take my voice away, especially this year when He had given me a responsibility I had to use it for.  Singing has always been the way I praise the Lord and the way I share Him with others. I have never gone that long without being able to sing before. For months, along with many friends and family, I prayed for healing. I begged for healing of my lungs, sternum, and voice. We are less than a week out from Easter Pageant and tonight I find my heart rejoicing because...

HE HAS HEALED ME!

I knew He would. He taught me that every word in every song I sing is HIS ministry, NOT mine. He can use us in anyway he chooses, whether in an obvious way or in a way we never expected. He is always faithful. I wish I wasn't so quick to forget that. 
"The LORD is my light and my salvation - so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?" Psalm 27:1. 
The closer I grow to Christ, the easier it is to completely trust Him with everything and sometimes growing closer to Him means waiting, while knowing He will answer and that He will be faithful. 
 "I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:2. 

"Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies." Psalm 103:1-4

Energy.

Every other Thursday night I meet with a group of people that I share a passion with...a passion to bring glory to the Lord by sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. Tonight I could feel the energy flowing through us. Ideas, prayers, hearts, passions, encouragement... I am *so* thankful that God has given me the opportunity to share life with this group of people this semester and to experience the joy that comes from sharing His gospel through Easter Pageant. Children, college students, parents, grandparents, and everyone in between will hear the gospel of our Savior and the love He has for all people. I'm beyond excited about that day.

Energy, passion, and excitement...so thankful to share this with an amazing group of people.

Those roses sure smell sweet!

Oh. my. goodness. Wedding planning is *so* much fun.

It's surreal to me that I am actually planning my wedding! At the age of three I started daydreaming about my wedding and my husband. Yes three. I know...weird. I never dreamed much about the colors of the dresses, the flowers I would carry, or the cake we would eat...I always dreamed about the emotion of the day. The skip of a heart beat when I put on my dress. The deep breath I would take when it hits me that I am about to marry my best friend. The sudden rush of excitement right before I walk down the aisle with my dad. The overwhelming joy that would come from seeing my husband standing there, smiling, and waiting for me, his bride. The fun I would have at the reception dancing and eating and being silly...

 It is CRAZY, I know. Haha! BUT now that I'm actually planning my wedding I feel as though I'm in a dream. I am having such a blast!! My future sis-in-law tells me, "remember to remember." In other words, stop and smell the roses every chance you get! Oh boy, those roses sure smell sweet! ;)

Kevin and I are about to book our honeymoon and start applying for jobs!! I'm about to live with a boy...now that's just crazy weird!

I'm loving every minute of day dreaming... about the future, all the emotions of our day AND all the silly little things like the flowers I'm going to carry and the cake I'm going to eat. Ha! I've got it bad.

Be encouraged. You have Joy.

So Tuesday I came down with a cold virus and an ear infection. UGH. Talk about being frustrated. I have not been well since the beginning of November. I've had colds off and on, just now getting over Bronchitis (which I've had since the beginning of December), developed allergy induced asthma, and now this. Last night my ear drum ruptured. My ear feels much better now though. I could go on and on...

It's so easy to get into this downward cycle of self pity. Self pity...saying it out loud sounds absolutely pathetic to me...probably because it is. It is 17 degrees outside and I'm in shorts and a T-shirt laying in a warm bed. I have food in my pantry (thanks to a very cold and very needed grocery trip Tuesday). I have all of the resources I need in my apartment to create my lesson plans. I have a fiance that calls just to say hey and tell me a funny story. I have a family that always puts things into perspective and loves me even when I'm in a bad mood. I have so many friends that truly love and care about me. There's a lot of 'me' in this blog. Sorry about that.

Anyway, once I got over myself I  remembered what Bro. Steve said on Sunday, "Don't focus on what you don't have! Focus on what you do have, and you DO have JOY in your salvation through Jesus Christ! So be encouraged!" I've been saved by the blood of the only God. He has forgiven me of all sin and loves me for who I am right now. He makes earthly love look like hate. He is life, my life, my hope, and my strength and yet sometimes I act like it doesn't matter compared to what today is like.  Hmmm...I hope I can remember what Bro. Steve said the other day, especially on days that I'm completely wrapped up in myself.